Thursday, January 21, 2010

Something Completely Unoriginal: POLITICS

The recent election of republican Scott Brown to fill STAUNCH-as-little-Edie-Beale democrat Ted Kennedy's vacant senate seat stirs up many emotions in me. I moved to Massachusetts just prior to turning 14 and lived both in Cape Cod and Boston for the next 12 years. As much as Kennedy stirred up mixed feelings from New Englanders, no one can deny the fact that the man spent a lifetime in the U.S. Senate trying to help people. A lot of conservatives who argue this fact (who, let's face it, will argue anything sane, reasonable, and true) have never stepped foot in Massachusetts. I feel these "citizens" should shut their lids. It's the same as a man arguing abortion or a male gynecologist telling a childbirth patient that she will experience "strong pain." There is no way, shape, or form of relating so please do us all a favor and don't bother.

I took great pride in wearing the blue state liberalism of Massachusetts on my sleeve the entire time I lived there. And I find it extremely sad that a few health care reform "rumors" tragically transformed a sure democrat seat to republican. However, I can't help but argue that sexism played a major role in this weird turn of events. Today I found out that Scott Brown not only lists his prior experience as a lawyer but he also includes actor/model. WTF? Furthermore, he soft-core porn posed in an issue of Cosmopolitan magazine in 1982 to help offset the cost of law school. WHAT? THE? FUCK? If Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi or even that pathetic-excuse-of-a-female Sarah Palin had anything even remotely soft-core in their past - like a black lace bra, for example - they would have been kicked up and down Pennsylvania Avenue faster than you or I can say "impeachment."

On that note, I believe in giving people chances, which is something this country clearly does not want to give our current President. If Scott Brown is conservative, good for him for having something to believe in. However, if he just uses his point-of-view to become another moron pundit on Fox News, I would hope we will all be deeply disappointed and boot his well-toned ass out. I hope Brown takes a cue from Kennedy (and all the Kennedys) and uses his new appointment as a vessel for helping the citizens of Massachusetts. It's time to stop gloating and start working.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Another Covetous Jewelry Line

After perusing every issue of "O" and "Better Homes & Gardens" during a four hour stint at the lovely Baptist Hospital breast clinic yesterday, I decided to challenge myself with a little decadence by perusing an issue of "Town & Country." The September 2009 date shocked me as I didn't think this magazine was even in existence anymore. My dear nana always had her coffee table stacked with them and I think 1993 was the last time I was at her apartment so I was excited to see what society had to offer me today. The ads and the articles were like every other high-end extolling publication - Gucci, Prada, Tiffany "celebration" rings. But the ads in the back intrigued me with their requests for designer handbags like old Louis Vuitton steamer trunks and vintage Hermes Birkins. There was also an ad for the "highest quality" cubic zirconia jewels (perfect for travelling - don't want to risk losing granny's heirloom Cartier while you're out on the yacht). Then, and ad for Heather Moore's initial emblazoned charms grabbed me. And as the story goes, they had me at "hello." I quickly grabbed a pen and my day planner to write down the web address.

Excitedly, I told Fred this morning that I had a new jewelry request. However, this was before I saw the prices. Oy gvalt. The scripted "m" charm, complete with channel set diamonds all around was just under 5k. 5k. For a charm. That's not including the chain. The necklace shown above, with your entire family history, astrological signs, etc, comes it at a little over 30k. 30k! That's a new VW Passat around your neck. Damn. Damn. DAMN!

A girl can dream...a girl can dream...

Sunday, January 3, 2010

My Favorite Jewels: HELEN FICALORA

I love costume jewelry as much as every other mid-30s mama at Forever 21 drooling over their insanely cheap and adorable baubles. Furthermore, when I lived in NYC, nothing cheered me up more than a new pair of earrings purchased off of a Prince Street vendor (haggled, of course, for at least a few bucks less than the asking price - when in Rome...). And I proudly admit that Joan Rivers sucks me into QVC each and every time I catch her on with her ridiculously gaudy pieces. I've never made a purchase but my hand has reached for the phone a few times. Anyhow, there comes a time in every girl's life when she deserves a real piece of gold. Engagement rings and wedding bands are a given so I'm not going to waste my time going there (even though Tacori is by far my favorite ring line - Tony at Valley's Gem on Ventura Boulevard in Studio City, California does an incredible job replicating their pieces with his own twist. I have two of his rings and they are GORGE!). After my second son was born, Fred surprised me - after a bit of nudging towards her store from me - with two initial charms from the often imitated, never replicated Helen Ficalora. Freddie earned may-jah brownie points for opting for the diamond initial pendants - I only wanted the engraved gold pendants, but I'll never complain about a diamond splurge. They are delicate, elegant, and completely original. Two years later for my birthday, he surprised me with a heart charm (again, in diamonds - the man is G-O-O-D) and I wear them all together almost every day. And I always get complimented on them.

I've also had the pleasure of personally visiting the Helen Ficalora store in NYC off of Lafayette in Soho and it is nothing short of a girly girl's dream. Everything is pink and the jewels are all dainty and so so purty. I bought a pair of the white gold carved rose earrings and made a wish list in my head of about twenty other pieces I want. Go to and check it out!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Celebrities - what else???

I even surprise myself with the inordinate amount of interest and time I spend on pop culture. I can't help it. Andy Warhol said that when he got his own television set he had much less interest in spending time with actual people. Thankfully, I'm not that far gone but I can understand the escapism it provides us. And being the opinionated Virgoan that I am, I must espouse my thoughts on two men who leave me both disgusted and bewildered: TIGER WOODS and CHARLIE SHEEN. I know my feminist heart will hate me for this, but I consider Tiger to be much further up the moral echelon than Charlie. Yes, he is a liar, a cheater, an adulterer. However (and this is a HUGE "however"), he is not a wife beater. He does not hit women. He does not have a proven history of physically threatening women's lives. His and Elin's story will never closely resemble "The Burning Bed." How brave of AT&T and countless other companies to drop Tiger and yet they all keep their ads on CBS for Charlie's pathetic excuse of a painfully un-watchable sitcom. Why doesn't CBS stand up for the women of the world and can that fucker's sorry ass? I know the answer is money, but how sad is that? The only glimmer of hope from the whole pathetic scenario is that Denise Richards, who Charlie disgustingly smeared as "crazy," is now vindicated after he was arrested on Christmas day. Karma is real.

Now, on to something much lighter and trashier: J. Lo. I know she's now trying to be known as "Lola," which is beyond laughable, but at this moment, I have a serious bone to pick with Jenny from the block. First, what the hell was she wearing to Disneyland with her fam on Christmas? It looked like a festive Quacker Factory sweater. I mean, come on. You are JENNIFER LOPEZ! Just because it's a casual family day at the park with your babies Max and Emme and that troll husband Marc Anthony (who's celeb factor I will NEVER comprehend), doesn't mean that you have to forsake the glam. Some booty-accentuating J. Brands and a cute pea coat (isn't Michael Kors your bff - have him whip you up one!) would have been so much more appropriate. And sexy. And movie-star-esque. I can't wait to see what the gofugyourself girls have to say about this one.

As if xmas at Disneyland wasn't enough, La Lopez had to pull a complete 360 on Dick Clark's rocking New Year's Ever special with the world's most unflattering and hideous catsuit. Yes, a CATSUIT. A one piece monstrosity that unbelievably, no one told her looked like ass. Even with her ass. The performance was just as bad as the outfit. She can't even lip synch right. And the routine with her plethora o' gay dancers just felt dated. Fred is right - Lady Gaga puts all these other girls (or in J. Lo's case forty-somethings) to shame.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Eat Pray Love

I picked up a copy of Elizabeth Gilbert's bestselling Oprah-ized memoir EAT PRAY LOVE at a yard sale two years ago for one dollar and placed it on my night stand with the full intention of an immediate read. I perused through it once or twice, re-reading the first chapter and became a fan of Gilbert's witty and acerbic prose. However, this wasn't enough for me to actually finish the damn thing because it took me this past November to pick it up and complete it. Fate, destiny, whatever, brought me to this book at this time because every morsel of it fed into my being. The clusterfuck of 2009's end left me in a bit of a tizzied soul search and this book calmed me like nothing I could have imagined. This is required reading of every woman in her 30s. I now want to go to Italy, study at an ashram, and meet the enchanting medicine men and women of Bali. There are tons of one cent copies on amazon so pick up one (or three!).